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Writer's pictureSuri Nowosiolski

From Stress to Success: 7 Expert-Recommended Tips for Your Child's School Anxiety and Refusal


Are you a parent whose child is anxious about school? Are you tired of seeing your child dread the first bell of the day? Do you wonder what you can do? If so, you are not alone. According to the National Education Association, 9.5% of all school-aged children have a diagnosable anxiety disorder. This number rises to 15% for school-aged children with a major depressive disorder. In addition, the Anxiety and Depression Association of America estimates that about 30% of adults report feeling anxious at least once a week. In other words, your child is not alone.


Below are seven strategies to assist your child in overcoming their school-related anxiety. These strategies have been proven to help develop a more positive outlook and reduce the stress associated with attending school.


1. Understand the cause of your child's anxiety.

Parenting can be difficult when your child is feeling anxious. It’s important to take the time to try and understand what is causing them to feel this way. In some cases, it could be something related to school, a traumatic event, or a medical issue. It's important to talk to your child and be patient when they are having difficulty conveying their worries. Finding the root cause of your child's anxiety is the first step to helping them work through it.

2. Create a plan for getting your child to school

For busy parents, getting your child to school on time can seem like a daunting task. To make it simpler, it's a good idea to create a plan, and it's an even better idea to involve your child in the planning. Help your child consider all of the tasks that need to be completed in the morning. Encourage them to think about what "must" be done, and what routines and rituals may help them start their day off right. Make sure to include a consistent wake up and bedtime routine, so that your child's body gradually adjusts to the school week and morning schedule.

3. Don't accommodate school avoidance.

It's natural to want to protect your child from feeling anxious, but the best way to do it isn't by letting them stay home from school. While it can be tempting to give in to your child's worries, it won't actually help them in the long run. Giving in to their worries will only reinforce their fears and can eventually lead to even more anxiety around school. Instead, provide a safe, supportive environment and talk to them openly and honestly about their feelings. Reassure them that they are not alone and that their feelings are normal. With a little bit of patience and understanding, you can help your child to manage their worries and build their confidence to face their school worries.


4. Convey your belief and confidence.

Our children learn so much about themselves from the way we interact with them. It's important to stay positive and encourage your child on their journey. Let them know they can handle whatever comes their way. Remind them of their capabilities and the strengths they possess. Acknowledge that they can do hard things. Empower them to keep trying and to never give up. Your child will appreciate your confidence in them and it will give them an extra boost when things get tough.


5. Help your child to develop coping skills.

As parents, it's important to identify and help your child find healthy coping skills. Coping skills can include a variety of activities like deep breathing, mindful meditation, engaging in physical activity, writing in a journal, or talking to a trusted adult. Being able to recognize when a child is facing an emotion they don't know how to manage, and helping them to find a healthy way to cope, sets them up for success in the long run.


6. Involve school staff.

When dealing with school anxiety or school avoidance, it's important to work in partnership with school staff to help your child feel comfortable and supported in school. Reach out to teachers, guidance counselors, or other school staff to talk about your child's needs and how best to support them. Keep communication open and easy and make sure to clearly communicate any of your child's concerns or worries.


7. Seek professional help if needed.

If your child continues to struggle with going to school despite your best efforts to help, it might be a good idea to reach out to a professional who can offer some additional support. Just remember that you are not alone, and that there are skilled professionals out there who specialize in helping anxious children of all ages. Don't hesitate to reach out for help if you feel that you need it.


Getting your child to school on time can be a challenge, but it doesn't have to be — and these tips can help. Recognize that your child might take a few weeks to adjust to a new routine. Be ready to offer lots of support along the way.




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